Politics
Scandal: Buttigieg Forced To Drop Out After Being Outed As A White Male

U.S.—Pete Buttigieg has been forced to drop out of the presidential race in the midst of scandalous revelations that he's actually a white male.

Despite the Buttigieg campaign's best efforts, Democrat voters discovered that Buttigieg is, in fact, both white and male. Buttigieg came out as white, withdrew from the race, and apologized to his former supporters in a speech today.

"I am sorry for everyone I have hurt," Buttigieg told reporters. "I didn't mean to cause anyone this kind of pain and suffering."

Voters have long suspected he was hiding something, but when the revelation broke, it was worse than his supporters could ever have imagined.

"I just can't believe he'd deceive us like this," said Hal Baker, Buttigieg's lone supporter in South Carolina. "That he would conceal this from all of us shows that he's an evil, evil man. Who knows what other terrible secrets are lurking in his closets?"

Rumors are also swirling that Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, and Mike Bloomberg are all white males, threatening their candidacies.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

There are 2 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.