U.S.—Pete Buttigieg has been forced to drop out of the presidential race in the midst of scandalous revelations that he's actually a white male.
Despite the Buttigieg campaign's best efforts, Democrat voters discovered that Buttigieg is, in fact, both white and male. Buttigieg came out as white, withdrew from the race, and apologized to his former supporters in a speech today.
"I am sorry for everyone I have hurt," Buttigieg told reporters. "I didn't mean to cause anyone this kind of pain and suffering."
Voters have long suspected he was hiding something, but when the revelation broke, it was worse than his supporters could ever have imagined.
"I just can't believe he'd deceive us like this," said Hal Baker, Buttigieg's lone supporter in South Carolina. "That he would conceal this from all of us shows that he's an evil, evil man. Who knows what other terrible secrets are lurking in his closets?"
Rumors are also swirling that Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, and Mike Bloomberg are all white males, threatening their candidacies.
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