WOODLAND HOME, CA—Chaperones present on the bus ride back from Woodland Home Christian Camp claim there were more relationship breakups on the 1-hour-long trip than on the average Taylor Swift album.
While statisticians believe there are close to a dozen breakups mentioned on any given Swift CD, averaging one per song, church workers stated there were “well over” that number on the short trip home from camp.
“There were something like 17 brutal breakups,” said volunteer bus driver Dan Manning as he helped unload duffel bags from the bus. “Relationships that started 3 days ago—relationships we all thought would last forever—ended in flames on that trip as we came down the mountain.”
“I was pretty sure Aiden and Sarah were going to make it work, but he texted her just as we got on the 10 freeway, and I could tell from looking in the rearview mirror that it was over.” He claimed other couples ended things by passing verbal messages back and forth across the rows of seats, while a few will simply allow their relationship to fizzle out awkwardly over the next few youth group nights.
He shook his head.
“I guess they just couldn’t overcome the challenges of real life when we got 30 minutes outside the camp grounds,” he said. “It was like listening to Red or Speak Now all over again. Great albums, by the way. I’m starting to come around on Reputation too. It’s definitely a grower, but I love that she’s willing to take a risk.”
At publishing time, Manning confirmed they had listened to 1989 most of the way back to the church.