COOPERSTOWN, NY — The baseball world was rocked by controversy as the ban on famed two-way baseball legend Bugs Bunny entering the Baseball Hall of Fame over allegations of performance-enhancing carrot use was once again upheld.
According to MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred, Bugs Bunny's .578 batting average, 812 career home runs, .652 on-base percentage, 8,002 career hits, and 10,000 strikeouts as a pitcher continue to be ruled ineligible for consideration because of his "frequent, egregious, and obstreperous" use of performance-enhancing carrots.
"Cheating has no place in the game of baseball, much less the Hall of Fame,'" Manfred said. "Officials during Bugs's era didn't realize what was going on for a long time — or why Bugs was visiting farmers' markets so frequently. Eventually, he got caught with the dirty carrots. It's a shame, because he put up numbers no one else can ever touch. How much of it was because of the help he got from the carrots? We'll never know. Unfortunately, his career will forever be tainted by this black mark."
Though Bugs Bunny can still lay claim to the title of being the only pitcher in baseball history to ever strike out three batters on one pitch, his exclusion from the Hall of Fame promised to continue to spark widespread discontent from sports fans across the country.
At publishing time, Bugs had also been retroactively stripped of his 1946 Most Valuable Player award.
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