CLOVIS, NM - Local movie buff Richard Jetherson is receiving praise for his brilliance when it comes to movies that are a part of the ultra-popular Marvel cinematic universe: he simply reads all the spoilers of upcoming Marvel movies so he doesn't have to watch them.
"I discovered this trick when I realized a new Marvel movie was in theaters but I had not watched four earlier movies that I also did not want to watch," said Jetherson while neither wearing a Marvel t-shirt nor opining on canonical incongruencies between the movies and shows on Disney Plus. "Now I just read the spoilers. It saves time and prevents me from having to watch any more Marvel movies."
"This trend is really catching on," said cinematic statistician, Carl Bartleby. "Thousands more people each day are deciding to simply read movie spoilers then get on with their productive, happy lives rather than having to watch another Marvel movie."
During the interview, Mr. Jetherson helpfully revealed the spoilers for Spider-Man: No Way Home, but thoughtful editors at The Babylon Bee have chosen to refrain from publishing the movie spoiler that everyone dies at the end.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
