MAR-A-LAGO, FL — The Trump campaign revealed this week they paid WWF superstar Hulk Hogan three scratch-off lotto tickets and a meatball sub to appear at the Republican National Convention.
Hogan, who appeared at the RNC to introduce Donald Trump in an epic shirt-ripping show of force, received his payment immediately following the convention.
"Awwww, YEAH!" Hogan told members of the press. "I loved me that meatball sub, brother. Yum. And while I didn't win any money from the scratch-offs, I loved scratching them off! Awwww, YEAH!"
Hogan reportedly ate his meatball sub in an alley behind the convention center and washed it down with a lukewarm Mountain Dew Code Red. Trump expressed appreciation for Hogan's appearance and attributed his energy to boosting poll numbers.
"Hulk, he's the best," Trump said. "Everyone says he's the best. It was his shirt-ripping that pushed me over the edge in the polls against Commie Kamala. That and the fact that I'm amazing. No one like me ever. Except for the Hulk. He's very special, as special as me. So very special."
At publishing time, Trump's team had confirmed they also paid Buzz Aldrin a sack of nickels and a ticket to see Disney On Ice for the former astronaut's endorsement.
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