BEVERLY HILLS, CA — A bottle of 18-year-old single-malt Baja Blast sold for a record-breaking $145,000 Wednesday at Christie's auction house. The rare find attracted everyone from celebrities to wealthy oil barons who battled on the auction floor for the privilege of owning the rarely aged beverage.
"Mountain Dew Baja Blast was a Taco Bell exclusive for so many years that it's rare to find such an old vintage," said the Mountain Dew expert who certified the item. "The supply is usually drained each year, and rarely bottled. This is a true find!"
This particular bottle was discovered hidden in the water-tight cache of a shipwreck off the Dominican coast. It remains sealed and in pristine condition, untouched by man for almost two decades.
The bidding reportedly started at a modest $50,000 but the price escalated quickly as the auctioneer described the one-of-a-kind taste of Baja Blast. "The combination of lime and tropical fruit is unmatched. It boldly delivers a vibrant tangy and slightly citrusy profile. Perfect for any collector or anyone hoping to pop it open for a special occasion."
A tense 13-minute bidding war ended in victory for a wealthy Swedish count who had flown to California specifically to bid on the item. "Baja Blast is my favorite drink!" said Count Viscount of Stegeholm. "I simply had to have it!"
At publishing time, Count Viscount had added the bottle of Baja Blast to his ever-expanding collection of vintage sodas. It took a place of honor next to an unopened bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red featuring a printing of Captain Panaka from The Phantom Menace on the label.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
