NEW YORK, NY — Conservative pundits claim that Madelynn McMammaral, a somewhat attractive woman who recently made her first media appearance in a short video where she just repeated "Wokeness Is Gaytarded" in different accents for three minutes straight, is now the most influential right-wing symbol in the world.
Conservatives across America have stepped up to praise McMammaral's performance, noting that "this is exactly the sort of strong voice of integrity that we need right now" and that "Madelynn provides a stunning rebuttal to the ever-encroaching flood of Marxist Commie Wokism."
McMammaral has also proved to be particularly popular among libertarians, for unknown reasons."Wow…just look at her — I mean, that's such a powerful message!" sighed Libertarian man and Magic-the-Gathering enthusiast Colyn "Muh Roads" Rhodes. "Wokeness really is gaytarded — she got that exactly right! And she's female, too — I haven't seen too many of those lately. What a gal!"
McMammaral has declined several media outlets' requests for her to host a show, explaining that she "just needed to really focus in on promoting the message on other platforms like TikTok." There are rumors of a "Wokeness is Gaytarded" speaking tour, however.
At publishing time, leftists had tried to start the countercampaign "Conservatives Are Straight-Laced LOL Reeee" but had to abandon the endeavor after they were unable to come up with any good puns or find any attractive females.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
