WASHINGTON, D.C.—When Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden was told his vice presidential pick would be Kamala Harris, he was initially pleased. “She is young, bright, clean, and articulate just like that other guy, Obeemer."
But Kamala Harris is reportedly beginning to think that "this Biden guy" is really going to slow down her campaign.
"He's old and confused, and there's not much upside there," she told aides. "And the sniffing -- what is with the sniffing?"
"I'm starting to think he's dead weight."
Democrat analysts quickly began to express their doubts about the ticket. “Why is that old guy on Harris's ticket? Kamala should have picked that nice young mayor from the Midwest. Ben something? Pete! That's it. He would have been a great match for her -- not sure why she's sticking with Joe."
Democratic strategist Benjessi Normaton was blunter, tweeting out: “It's time for Biden to step down from the Harris campaign.”
DNC operatives have been unavailable for comment, though unnamed insiders have hinted that all is going according to plan, and that Biden won't be a problem for much longer.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.