MILWAUKEE, WI — Joe Biden has once again hit the campaign trail to give speeches about America's soul and tout his credentials as a fighter for equality. During his recent speech, the President mentioned how he was very involved in the Civil Rights movement and even got to man the firehose one time.

"Listen here folks, I fought hard during the Civil Rights movement, no joke. I was always there working tirelessly, standing up for what was right and what I believed in. It was a big deal seriously, they even let me man the firehose and blast all the protestors!" said President Biden as the crowd gasped in horror at his racist comments. "Wait what's the big deal? I sprayed them down and fought for equality or as I like to call it separate but equality! Fer real!"

According to sources, the President's wife desperately tried to pull Biden off the stage, but it was of no use. Biden continued, "I was a big deal to the Civil Rights movement! I once called the cops after I saw Corn Pop trying to drink out of the whites-only water fountain. I was a hero in my community."

At publishing time, Biden's divisive speech was polling horribly with independents and conservatives, while core Democrats highly approved.

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