WASHINGTON, D.C. — Responding to Ron DeSantis's presidential candidacy announcement that crashed Twitter, President Biden ridiculed the candidate, saying that true leaders like him can crash entire economies.
"Crashing Twitter? That's for amateurs, folks. I crashed the economy! Top that!" exclaimed the President in a speech on Thursday. "That's what true leaders do. What is a Twitter?"
Biden then walked off the edge of the stage and fell to the ground, having mistaken air for stairs.
Experts say the President is one of the foremost experts in wrecking things--including the economy, the military, the dollar, America's hopes and dreams, and his son Hunter. "DeSantis will have a ton of catching up to do if he wants to even approach the levels of ruin wrought upon the nation by President Biden," said one expert. "When you look at how well Florida is doing, it would appear he may not be up for the job of further destroying the country."
At publishing time, DeSantis had responded forcefully to the criticism by crashing Disney's stock.
Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.