U.S. — Amid a nationwide boycott, Target has chosen to remove some "pride" displays in their store. Experts are warning that this could leave many Satan-worshipping trans infants with limited options for their designer clothing.
"Target has long been the store of choice for Satan-worshipping trans 9-month-olds, and this boycott could put them in danger," said trans activist Zable Kadzonks. "As the parent of 3 queer Marxist warlocks myself, this is extremely frightening."
Anonymous sources within the retail giant said their best-selling item, a baby onesie that says "I am a gay communist witch," has been pulled from shelves, which could lead to millions in lost revenue for the multi-billion dollar corporation. "We are being held hostage by these right-wing terrorists who refuse to shop at our store," said the source.
Other products, including tuck-friendly baby clothes, puberty-blocking baby formula, and bronze statuettes of Baphomet will also be pulled and donated for sale at Goodwill or the next Democratic convention.
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!