ATLANTA, GA - In a stirring speech in Atlanta this week, Biden recounted the time he was heroically arrested at a civil rights protest simply for wearing a white hood.
"There I was, outside a school protesting against school integration with my best pal KKK member Robert Byrd, and the cops were escorting black kids into the school," said Biden. "And then I said 'You won't turn my school into a racial jungle! I'm gonna wrap this chain around your head!' And then the cops arrested me and escorted me to their police car and bought me Burger King. It was delicious. Build Back Better! Universal mail-in voting! Yay!"
The audience seemed confused until several Democrat leaders instructed the audience to clap and cheer.
"Yay! Build Back Better! Universal mail-in voting!" they all cheered.
Biden's address has been hailed in the media as a "powerful call to America to be on the right side of history" and "a totally not racist speech."
Democrats have instructed black leaders to instruct black people that whatever the 80-year-old white racist said in his speech was a "good thing" and they should fully support it if they want "liberation and equality and all that stuff."
Republicans pounced on the speech, likely because they're racist.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
