WASHINGTON, D.C.—At a ceremony Thursday, Joe Biden received a prestigious "Gun Salesman of the Month" award. The honor, granted to the gun salesperson from around the country who sells the most firearms, was bestowed on him by the National Rifle Association.
"We are deeply grateful for Biden's work at getting more guns into Americans' hands," said one gun store owner as he put a medal around Biden's neck. "He sells these bad boys much more effectively than any Republican ever could. We are forever indebted to you."
"I'm honored to accept this award," Biden said, "for, uh, what was it again? Where am I? Who the [flowerbed] are you people?!"
While Beto O'Rourke had a hot streak, winning the award for the previous 24 months, Biden finally managed to top him after being declared the winner of the 2020 Presidential election by the press.
O'Rourke has vowed that he will take back his honor next month by screaming something about taking away your guns again.