FASANO — Sources close to President Biden said he was "highly disappointed" to find out that what he thought was a huge, free scoop of vanilla ice cream at the G7 Summit was in fact only Pope Francis.
Eyewitnesses claimed it was the white papal garments that first caught the 81-year-old Biden's attention. Allegedly, Biden began licking his lips and asking the other world leaders if anyone had an ice cream cone before wandering over to the pontiff while muttering about how long it had been since he'd had a good scoop of vanilla.
"It was a big disappointment for the big guy," said Belinda Gyrth, a member of the presidential staff. She paused to comfort the president, who was standing behind her whining for ice cream. "It's okay, buddy. I know you're disappointed, but maybe we can stop by McDonald's on our way to the airport, okay?"
Sources said Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni came over to offer Biden her condolences and cheered him up by promising him a scoop of authentic Italian gelato if he was good and signed the deal with the nice president of Ukraine.
At publishing time, Biden had reportedly extended the ten-year security deal with Ukraine after Zelensky had promised him a banana split.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
