WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FBI is investigating a credible threat to the president by the president after President Biden was caught on camera during a live Christmas event repeating the phrase "Let's Go Brandon."
According to witnesses, the Bidens were speaking with a caller who uttered the notorious chant "Let's Go Brandon!" before hanging up.
"Let's Go Brandon! Yeah, I agree!" said Biden to the horror of witnesses and viewers across America.
"It was a truly dark moment for our democracy," said respected left-wing intellectual Joy Reid. "That dangerous right-wing white supremacist insurrectionist slur uttered by Joe Biden is a legitimate threat on the president's life and must be investigated immediately."
Experts are still trying to determine exactly how President Biden was seduced by the insidious toxicity of racist Republican slogans against himself, but some are suggesting it may be due to Biden spending unsupervised time on Facebook.
The January 6 committee has also issued a subpoena, demanding the president appear before the House to answer for his threats against the president.
"I vow to use every resource at my disposal to catch the perpetrator," said Biden in a statement. "We'll round up every person responsible and throw him in a paddy-wagon to be hauled off to the clink! Let's Go Brandon!"
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
