Bethel Church Fails Strange Fire Inspection

REDDING, CA—A state strange fire inspector showed up at Bethel Church unannounced Sunday to see if their ministry was up to code, and found the church in violation of hundreds of regulations, sources confirmed Monday.

The inspector carefully examined all areas of Bethel’s Sunday service, including pastor Bill Johnson’s sermon, worship regulations, various youth groups, morning small groups, and child care services, looking for any potentially dangerous spiritual formation problems that could lead to strange fire outbreaks, and was reportedly “aghast” at what he found.

“This place is primed for a strange fire outbreak at any moment,” the inspector murmured to himself while carefully monitoring Johnson’s sermon, shaking his head slowly. “And what’s this ‘School of Supernatural Ministry’ you have going? This is a disaster waiting to happen. I highly doubt it’s up to code.”

According to those present during the inspection, the state official even walked in on a spontaneous “miraculous healing” and immediately shut it down.

“None of the state’s regulations for strange fire prevention were being observed. It’s a worst case scenario,” he confirmed.