Politics U.S.
Bernie Sanders Vows To Round Up Remaining ISIS Members, Allow Them To Vote

U.S.—During a CNN town hall event Monday evening, presidential candidate Bernie Sanders came out tough on terror, vowing to do what was needed to round up the remaining members of ISIS in order to give them the right to vote in US elections.

"As president, I will do everything in my power to hunt down each and every one of these terrorist scumbags, bring them to the U.S., and allow them to vote in our elections," he said sternly, drawing applause from his supporters. "We believe in democracy, right? We believe in democracy and the right to vote, and if that means I have to use every resource at my disposal to make sure ISIS makes it to the polls, I will do so."

"This is America, after all," he said, wildly flailing his hands about before aides rushed to him and gave him his meds to calm him down.

After being pressed, Sanders admitted that part of the reason for the policy is that he's "pretty confident" ISIS will vote for Democrats such as himself.

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