GRAPEVINE, TX—As IRS and US Postal Service investigators swarmed Benny Hinn Ministries’ Grapevine office complex Wednesday, Benny Hinn himself stood nearby, utilizing a difficult, powerful Jedi mind trick on various government agents walking by in an attempt to dissuade them from investigating his ministry any further, sources confirmed.
“These aren’t the tax documents you’re looking for,” Hinn said calmly to a federal official carrying a large box of files and folders purportedly containing damning evidence of shady financial transactions on the part of the televangelist’s ministry. His mystical tone was accompanied by a slow wave of his hand as he closed his eyes in concentration.
“Sir, please just move out of the way so we can get these to our vehicle,” the IRS agent responded, according to those within earshot.
“I can go about my business,” Hinn replied, attempting to influence the agent’s actions with the mere power of his mind.
Exasperated, the agent attempted to plead one more time, but was interrupted by Hinn’s commanding voice, declaring, “Move along,” before he shook his head in frustration and just walked around the televangelist and prosperity gospel preacher.
At publishing time, sources had confirmed Hinn had attempted to blast the fleet of federal vehicles surrounding his ministry’s compound with a barrage of lightning from his fingertips, but had been unsuccessful.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.