Belief In Hell Suddenly Spikes As Charles Manson Dies

U.S.—A poll performed by Pew Research Center confirmed Monday that belief in hell spiked seemingly overnight, the sudden increase in the number of people who hold that a holy God will judge men and women when they die coinciding with the death of deranged mass murderer Charles Manson.

While only 58% of American adults said they believed in hell before Manson’s death, that number shot up to an overwhelming majority of 99.2% after the crazed cult leader died of natural causes Sunday.

“I didn’t think it was right for a thrice-holy God to judge anyone,” one respondent wrote. “But when I heard Manson had passed into the afterlife, I suddenly realized it kinda made sense for him to be separated from God for all eternity.”

“I mean, if you order the deaths of a whole bunch of people in order to start a race war, I’m kinda thinking that bearing the full brunt of the wrath of God feels a lot more like justice than just hanging out in prison until you die at the ripe old age of 83,” he added.

Many of those surveyed said they changed their beliefs after meditating both on man’s capacity for evil and God’s great holiness, stating that difficult concepts like hell, final judgement, and God’s awful wrath make “a whole lot of sense” once you understand the depravity of mankind.

According to sources at Pew Research, Charles Manson also quickly changed his belief in hell moments after dying.