WASHINGTON, D.C.—A war-hardened leader of the “Resistance” movement fighting against Donald Trump’s presidency reportedly gave a rousing speech in front of a bullet-riddled, war-torn “I’m With Her” flag just before a final push toward the White House Tuesday, sources on the ground confirmed.
“You’ve all fought bravely,” she said as her war-weary squad of soldiers bravely resisting Donald Trump’s reign of terror rested on piles of rubble strewn about under a bombed-out overpass. “We could have rolled over and taken Trump’s fascism, or merely tweeted and blogged about his totalitarian regime, but we didn’t. We took action and formed the Resistance.”
As her speech continued, the spirits of her battle-hardened squad of Resistance fighters began to rise, and the squad began to mutter in agreement and nod their heads in approval.
“They may take our lives, but they will never take our government-subsidized healthcare!” she added as her troops stood up one by one and raised a fist in defiance, just before charging down Pennsylvania Avenue toward the White House lawn.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.