When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for The Babylon Bee editorial board to opine on the mental capacities of sitting presidents, the nation is probably in some sort of trouble.
Compelled, however, by the recent explosion of violent hatred and vitriol that has oozed out of the upper echelons of the Democratic Party and dripped down upon the innocent shoulders of our Dear Leader President Biden like hydrochloric acid on a banana, we feel that it is our bounden duty as citizens and journalists to defend what is evident even unto idiots like Republicans, or AOC.
Joe 👏🏻 Biden 👏🏻 Is 👏🏻 Of 👏🏻 Sound 👏🏻 Mind 👏🏻 And 👏🏻 Body 👏🏻 And 👏🏻 The 👏🏻 Cruel 👏🏻 And 👏🏻 Senseless 👏🏻 Attacks 👏🏻 On 👏🏻Him 👏🏻Must 👏🏻Stop 👏🏻
The blatantly partisan and obviously politically motivated attacks upon Joseph Biden from the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama, George Clooney, and others have no basis in fact whatsoever. There is no Parkinsons. There is no dementia. In fact, Parkinsons and dementia are probably conspiracy theories made up to discredit the most popular president in American history.
Our president is the picture of health and exemplifies perhaps more than any other modern leader what that old phrase "sana mens in sanum corpus, e pluribus unum, habeas corpus, a contrario" truly means.
For the sake of our nation, for the sake of democracy, knock it off.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
