U.S. — With the increase in violence against conservative political leaders and influencers posing a great threat to national security and the lives of Americans, federal authorities revealed that they were zeroing in on the leader of a suspected furry terrorist cell.
Described by sources as one of the most dangerous individuals in the United States today, the leader, identified as one Charles Entertainment Cheese, is believed to be the leader of what has become to country's most substantial threat.
"He's the mastermind behind it all," said FBI Director Kash Patel during a press conference updating the public on federal law enforcement efforts to bring Cheese to justice. "These acts of violence by furries and furry-adjacent individuals have been traced back to one person — Chuck E. Cheese. The American people can rest assured that we will not rest until we have brought this bloodthirsty terrorist to justice."
Having evolved from what experts said was a humble and law-abiding start as lead singer and guitarist of Munch's Make Believe Band to the head of a global furry terrorist organization, Cheese has been identified as the leader behind many recent horrific events. "He was radicalized at some point," one government insider said. "He has now turned to a life of recruiting others to carry out his nefarious schemes. It may have started with pizza and arcade games, but now it has led to death."
At publishing time, highly placed sources revealed that a special government task force had narrowed Cheese's location down to a hidden bunker and was preparing a large-scale raid to attempt to apprehend him.
Congress is preparing to make some big changes!
