Theology
Atheists Launch No Lives Matter Movement

WORLD—A group of atheists, along with some agnostics, announced on Tuesday a new sociopolitical movement consistent with their worldview called No Lives Matter.

According to sources, organizers for NLM have planned numerous rallies to protest other rallies claiming that lives matter. The organization’s mission statement defines the group as “people motivated by the belief that all human lives are equally meaningless.”

“Since we are just random accidents of evolution, and our so-called moral truths are just biochemical reactions in our brain, no human lives, or any lives at all, actually matter,” said prominent atheist Richard Dawkins, speaking for NLM. “Anyone who says Black Lives Matter, or Blue Lives, or whatever lives, has to believe in a higher moral code given by a creator. You can’t say in one breath that lives matter, and in the next breath claim that God is a human invention and all truth is relative.”

“We’re just trying to be logically consistent,” he added.

The movement quickly fell apart, though, when leaders had trouble convincing followers that the No Lives Matter movement mattered.

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