WORLD—Atheists across the globe have come together to celebrate this truly magnificent day that they lovingly refer to as Meaningless Rock Hurtling Through Space Day. This is a day where they hope to reflect on and raise awareness about the challenges facing this absolutely pointless heap of dirt that we live on.
“It has never been more important to come together and save this planet that doesn’t matter or have any value whatsoever,” tweeted well-known atheist Richard Dawkins. “Our existence is vacuous and futile and we're only here by random accident - just like the Earth. So let’s all celebrate!”
Other atheists were quick to express their gratitude and thankfulness while celebrating MRHTS day, but it remains unclear to what or whom they’re thankful. “Wait, there’s nothing out there like a creator that I could thank for the Earth. That’s nonsense. I guess, I mean to say that we’re lucky to happen to exist somehow. Happy MRHTS Day everyone!”
The activists behind Meaningless Rock Hurtling Through Space Day have set up numerous rallies to draw attention to all the ways we can provide environmental protection to this insubstantial clump of dust. “This planet cares not whether we live or die, so let’s devote all of our time and energy towards preserving it! It’s survived billions of years and onslaughts of meteorites, but today we can finally save it by raising taxes and enacting the Green New Deal.”
Atheists have already said that they can’t wait to celebrate MRHTS Day again next year, but if the Earth and all life ceased to exist that would also be okay because nothing matters!