Worldviews
Dems Finally Defend Unborn Babies' Lives After They Start Wielding Knives

U.S.—Democrats have stood firm on their core values for many decades, from being for diversity and racial justice and killing as many babies as possible. But they're finally changing their tune after unborn babies started wielding knives in a threatening manner, calling the babies "precious little innocents" and demanding that nobody kill them, even though they looked pretty dangerous on an ultrasound.

Unborn babies got the idea to wield the knives after many liberals defended the actions of a girl who recently tried to stab another girl and was shot by police. So far, the unborn say, nearly 100% of liberals have changed their mind on abortion and rallied to their cause.

"Stop killing our babies!" chanted one protester outside a Planned Parenthood. "This precious little life holding a knife is clearly an innocent bystander and should not be killed. We used to think these were just clumps of cells, but once we saw the ultrasound and the baby tried to stab us, we realized they were actually lives worth defending. No one should take the life of one of our knife-wielding babies."

At publishing time, LeBron James had tweeted a picture of an abortion doctor with the ominous caption "YOU'RE NEXT."

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