At This Point Nation Just Happy Pageant Winner Is An Actual Woman
Worldviews · Jun 7, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

BIRMINGHAM, AL — Despite the attention drawn on social media regarding the plus-sized winner of the National American Miss Alabama competition, at this point, the nation was reportedly just happy the pageant winner was actually a woman.

The crowning of Sara Milliken as National Miss Alabama 2024 caused quite a stir online, with some praising the win as a significant step forward in the area of body positivity and others simply expressing relief that at least this pageant winner wasn't a male.

"I'm just glad this one really is a woman," said lifelong pageant fan Brandi Lake. "I guess some people might take issue with the fact that someone who is plus-sized and likely not in the best health would be crowned the winner over so many other seemingly deserving contestants, but… you know, here in 2024, we just need to be glad the winner doesn't have man parts."

The sentiment was shared by other pageant enthusiasts online. "I guess it's like a moral victory in some respects," said one commenter. "Though it might be a stretch to see this contestant as the winner of a beauty pageant in a conventional sense, we need to celebrate the fact that she's not a dude. Is it shocking to see someone like her winning the crown? Sure. But she's actually a she, so that at least counts for something."

At publishing time, pageant fans across the country agreed that not having a wiener should likely now be viewed as the most important criterion in women's beauty pageants.


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