Are You A Fascist? 12 Signs To Look For
The Bee Explains · Sep 27, 2022 ·

Do you think you're just a quiet, patriotic conservative with good old-fashioned family values? Oh no! You may be a dangerous fascist!

Study this list of fascist tendencies so you can do better and be less fascist!

  1. You've been to a 4th of July parade at least once in your life: All that flag-waving is a classic mark of fascism. You're supposed to love the leaders and corporations that the corporate media tells you to love, not your homeland, ya' Mussolini!
  2. You voted for Trump: this one's too easy. His election was not just a threat to our democracy, but a threat to all democracy – and maybe to the universe itself. Do better!
  3. You have more than one kid and you love being a parent: Dedication to the family is a distraction from service to the state. Just abort, you fascist – don't you want to be liberated?
  4. You didn't let your teenager go to that sleepover when LITERALLY EVERYONE else got to go: Ugh, so fascist!
  5. You use fascist dog-whistles like "Merry Christmas", "see you at church on Sunday", and "I don't really like Amazon's Rings Of Power": Just come out and say you're literally Hitler.
  6. You want people to make their own decisions about their kids' education and what things they inject in their bodies and crazy stuff like that: This is hard-line Nazism – individual responsibility instead of state control. Terrifying.
  7. You wear a tiny mustache and goose-step everywhere: honestly, you should probably get yourself checked for fascism if you have any kind of mustache…
  8. You give a speech flanked by marines in front of an ominous red background, accusing your political opponents of being enemies of the state: Wait a minute, is this list taking a turn?
  9. You use federal law enforcement to intimidate and attack political opponents: Only a dictator like Trump would do this!
  10. You use the media as a puppet to spread great propaganda: For example: "The Afghanistan withdrawal was the greatest military accomplishment since the Berlin airlift."
  11. You dehumanize the other party to the point that your followers are literally trying to mow them down in the street: Trump again! Obviously.
  12. Your name is Joseph R Biden Jr and you're 78 years old and you are currently president of the United States: If this is you, stop being a fascist – or just silence anyone who says you are!

And there you have it – know the signs of fascism and you won't be blindsided!

Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.

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