WASHINGTON, D.C. — Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez disputed claims of Republicans who claim the U.S. has devolved into a banana republic following the raid on former President Trump's Florida residence, saying that America is more like a Forever 21.
"Have any of these Republicans even been to Banana Republic? Their clothing is upscale, far out of the price of most American citizens. Banana Republic is elitist — it represents the 1%," explained the congresswoman. "On the other hand, Forever 21 has trendy fashion at low prices. That's the American dream I believe in! Buy it now, or it's gone!"
"America is not Banana Republic!" she shouted defiantly in front of the Capitol building. She then tore apart a $180 Ramie Eyelet Blouse, one of three she owns.
When fellow U.S. representatives and journalists attempted to explain that a "banana republic" refers to a politically unstable country dependent on the export of natural resources she accused them of mansplaining.
"You don't get to mansplain," AOC told Rep Elise Stefanik (R). "I can tell by your lack of taste that you don't shop at Forever 21."
Stefanik was reportedly offended by the remark but admitted that her outfit was from JC Penny's summer collection. She left in shame.
At publishing time, AOC appeared on the cover of Vogue Magazine, modeling some Mom Jeans her butler picked up at Forever 21.
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!