Theologians Confirm Chips And Salsa Were Blessed In Eternity Past And May Be Eaten Before Prayer
Theology · Aug 12, 2022 ·

WORLD — Scholars have finally confirmed that it's not necessary to say a blessing for pre-meal chips and salsa, as they were already blessed in eternity past before the foundations of the world.

"This is a question Christians have wrestled with in the centuries since the first chips and salsa were created," said theologian Carl Schmidt. "Some Christians will silently say a prayer to themselves as the delicious unlimited chips and salsa are brought to the table, but we are pleased to announce this is not necessary. The appetizer was set apart from the beginning of creation to act as a pre-blessed snack before dinner. Hallelujah!"

Many Christians report being unaccustomed to this newfound liberty, still pausing and looking around nervously before digging in. Still, others have stubbornly refused to change their ways, insisting on praying before the appetizer and again before the meal.

"We urge Christians to partake freely and with gratitude. No prayer needed!" said Schmidt. "Glory be to God!"

Scholars are still trying to determine whether this blessed truth also applies to potato skins.

Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.

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