AOC Engaged, Registers For $10,000 'Tax The Rich' Toaster
Politics · May 20, 2022 ·

NEW YORK, NY - Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and her fiancé were spotted Friday registering for wedding gifts at Tiffany & Co. in Midtown. The happy couple wandered the store with a personal stylist who helpfully critiqued every item they chose, including a custom-made "Tax the Rich" toaster that retails for $10,000.

"Oh, honey! We've got to get that. It's like it was made for me!" squealed AOC as she excitedly dragged her fiancé over to the high-end toaster counter.

The toaster itself features an 18k white gold finish and a built-in touch screen. A series of flawless diamonds spell out the words "Tax the Rich" on the side of the unit. The toaster was designed by beloved Italian jewelry designer Elsa Peretti before she died in 2021.

AOC, who prides herself on being a normal person who is not at all out of touch with the reality of the average American citizen, was reportedly confident that one of her many famous wedding guests would be able to plunk down the cash on the fabulous toaster.

"An excellent choice," said Tiffany & Co employee Sylvia Silvertone. "This device is a delicate blend of beauty and social justice. It can also toast bagels without burning them. A rare find among toasters."

Among other humble items, the engaged couple registered for a solid gold "Communism Has Never Been Tried" blender, a George Forman Grill made out of fine Italian leather, and a mansion.

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

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