Man With No Sleep, Hydration, Or Caffeine Blindsided By Inexplicable Migraine Again
Lifestyle ยท May 21, 2022

ALBUQUERQUE, NM - Local man Roy Wayland has been caught off guard once again by a crippling migraine that came out of nowhere. Roy has been searching for what could have caused this headache but so far it has remained a mystery.

"I haven't eaten today, or exercised in months, and I live my life in a constant state of stress and dehydration. Why does this keep happening to me?" said Roy Wayland contemplating this massive injustice in his life. "Why do I feel awful all the time when I'm doing everything right?"

According to sources Roy stayed up every night the past week playing video games until 3 AM - all while eating junk food and drinking no water whatsoever. Consequently, Roy woke up each day that week in a hurry and without time for food or coffee. "And then without warning: BAM! My head is pounding and it feels like a truck is parked on my skull," complained Roy.

At publishing time, Roy stated that he planned on addressing his debilitating migraines by changing absolutely nothing about his daily habits and becoming outraged at life when he gets another migraine tomorrow.


Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.

Subscribe to The Babylon Bee on YouTube

Comments

There are 99 comments on this article.

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.