Dear readers,
It is with a heavy heart that I announce we have decided to close the doors here at The Babylon Bee. Satire requires targets worthy of mockery to persist. And unfortunately, with Donald Trump taking office this year, there will be nothing to make fun of.
There are so many wonderful things about Trump, but his one flaw is he is not good for comedy. A smoothly running, efficient administration that does what it says, fulfills its promises, and abides by a strict code of ethics simply provides no worthy targets for valid satire.
What are we supposed to do - make fun of Trump when he closes the border and ushers in a new age of prosperity? What about when he ends all wars his first day in office? Or when he makes good on his promise to purchase Greenland and annex Canada, reestablishing America on the global stage as the dominant empire - are we supposed to crack a joke then?
No. It would be inappropriate. And worse still, it wouldn't be funny. There is nothing funny about perfection.
We had a good run making fun of Biden, and we did our best to ensure that Kamala Harris would win the election. It was our last hope to have terribly incompetent people in government to make fun of. But alas - when we woke up on November 6 and saw that Harris had lost the election, we knew our days were numbered.
We are so grateful for the support you've given us over the years and pray that you'll remember us fondly as you enter into the paradise that is a second Trump term. You're welcome, America.
In Christ,
Kyle Mann, Editor-in-Chief
Meet John Larson, a paraplegic firefighter who is breaking barriers with the LAFD.