Anarchist Presidential Candidate Releases Comprehensive Zero-Point Plan

U.S.—Up and coming anarchist candidate "Lord Dweebles Dragonborn" is gaining in the polls after unveiling his proposed plan for the country which involves doing absolutely nothing. Pundits and political consultants were left scratching their heads after the release of the document which is just a blank piece of paper that smelled faintly of cannabis.

His zero-point plan to save the country is making waves.

Republicans and Democrats reacted in horror. "Wait, how can the government just not do anything? How will people know what to do? What will become of our jobs? Wait... WHO WILL BUILD THE ROADS????" they shrieked in terror. "THE ROADS! NOT THE ROOOAADDDDSSS!" 

"Apparently, there's this idea that people can form their own local governments if they want, or not, or whatever," said one local Republican representative. "People could just do whatever they want or organize themselves however they want. That's literal insanity. Besides, who would build the roads? Have I mentioned that?"

As Lord Dragonborn rises in the polls, people are already drafting new and innovative ideas for what their own dream societies might look like if Dragonborn is elected. One proposal involves building an art deco style underwater city and injecting the citizens with serums to create superhuman mutant abominations.

Anarchist commentator Michael Malice came out in support of the candidate's plan, saying he particularly appreciated point zero of the plan, as well as points zero through zero. "The corporate press is the enemy of the people, so they won't cover Dragonborn's brilliant plan. The depravity and the malfeasance of the corporate press is without cessation."

We thanked Malice for his comments, and he replied, "Your welcome [sic]."

Fans of the anarchist candidate insist that if he is elected he will likely be the greatest president since, well, nobody. 

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

There are 111 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.