SEATTLE, WA—Amazon today unveiled the company's new camouflaged boxes so you can order things without your spouse looking out on the doorstep or arriving home from work to realize you ordered another bunch of stuff on Amazon.
The boxes are disguised as potted plants, rocks, lawn furniture, and other common items so your spouse won't know a thing.
"These are guaranteed to reduce marital arguments about how many large Amazon orders you place almost immediately," said an Amazon spokesperson. "Just select the new 'Spousal Disguise' option at checkout, and your completely undetectable Amazon package will be on its way."
According to Amazon, if your spouse discovers the box before you have the chance to sneak it inside and stash it in the closet or garage, your next order is on them. "That's our personal guarantee to you."