WASHINTON, D.C. — Confusion was averted for an outgoing leader today, as departing White House aides softly guided now-former President Joe Biden to a room in a retirement home they carefully disguised as the Oval Office.
"Here you go, Joe, yes, right this way. Good job," aide Jeff Stanworth said as he guided Biden gently by the elbow to a mock-up of the Resolute Desk. "This phone calls Russia just like in the before times! You have all your favorite things right here... look, it's the little bell you ring when you want Jill to come in and bring you a juice box! Ring, ring, ring! Good job, Mr. Former President, Sir!"
Witnesses said Biden looked around the room in slight confusion before locking eyes with the giant ice cream machine in the corner.
"Oh hey, this is my office!" Biden exclaimed excitedly. "I'd know that old soft serve machine anywhere! It feels good to still be here. Just like I never left. Because I didn't leave. Hey guys, is Corn Pop here? He's a bad dude, you know."
Sources close to the situation said Biden was "confused but quite happy" by the periodic deliveries of jello cups and animal crackers from outside the office.
At publishing time, aides were trying to keep Biden from stepping outside his new room and into the dining room of the Shady Pines Retirement Home by bringing in a TV to play an endless loop of "Baby Shark."
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