UNITED STATES — After seeing Ben Sasse's incredible faith in God and upstanding moral character, the nation now understands why the former senator had to leave politics behind.
Ben Sasse shocked America when he resigned from Congress in 2023, a move that members of Congress ordinarily only make after a damaging scandal. Against all the nation's expectations for a United States Senator, Sasse resigned to become the president of the University of Florida and, now that he has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, has gone on to publicly proclaim Christ every chance he gets.
"Oh, I get it now. He's actually Christian and not just a pretend Christian," said one political junky named Steve. "He's not going to lie, cheat, and steal, so I guess that's why he couldn't be a Senator any longer."
Political experts say that it is totally unheard of for someone who has faith in God, humble Christian obedience, and their integrity intact to live and work in Washington, D.C.
"Oh yeah, Ben Sasse was all wrong for this city," said Arizona Democratic Senator, Ruben Gallego. "He was impossible to work with and very intolerant of the way we get things done around here."
At publishing time, by the grace of God, Ben Sasse was seen using his limited time left on this earth to serve Christ in the midst of his only momentary pain and tribulation.
California transplants Steve and Timpani try to be the perfect Texas hosts for Brittuni's visit, but Steve quickly realizes he needs a sensible vehicle now that he's about to become a dad.
