Affleck Steps Down As Batman After Critics Blast Him For Not Actually Being A Flying Nocturnal Mammal
Entertainment · Jan 31, 2019 · BabylonBee.com

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Ben Affleck has stepped down from his role as Batman, which he has played in the DC Extended Universe since 2016's Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.

Affleck's announcement came after critics slammed him online for playing the role despite not actually being a winged, flying, nocturnal mammal who hangs upside-down in a dark cave.

"Another rich, white actor is insisting on portraying the Batman, despite not actually flying around eating bugs using advanced echolocation techniques," said one social justice warrior on Twitter. "We call on Affleck to resign from the role immediately and apologize for the harm he has done to the bat community."

"Why not hire an actual bat to play Batman?" said another. "While the bat community continues to be turned down for lead roles in major films, millionaire actors swoop in and take over the one perfect role that comes along for them."

While many disagreed with the critics' assessment that a bat must be selected for the role of Batman, pretty much everyone found common ground over the fact that any winged mammal would have done a better job than George Clooney.


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