WASHINGTON, D.C. - "There is absolutely nothing happening today here in Washington, D.C.," said CNN reporter Mandy Peyton in a live special from the nation's capital this afternoon as she gestured toward a swelling crowd of pro-life demonstrators marching on the National Mall to fight for the rights of unborn children.

"As you can see," she continued, "it's a rare quiet day in Washington: no marches, no demonstrations, just a tranquil scene here. It's so nice to finally have a day where there is absolutely nothing left to cover." Peyton then turned and looked up and down the street where tens of thousands of protestors marched past to show their support for ending abortion once and for all. She took a deep breath. "Just drink in these peaceful, idyllic surroundings while you can, Washington. Before you know it, the Women's March will be here and this city will be overrun with billions of people marching peacefully in support of a woman's unalienable right to murder her child."

"We now return to our 24/7 coverage of Trump's eating habits," she concluded as she passed the broadcast back to the anchors in the studio.