ABRAHAM'S BOSOM - Father Abraham has many sons, and because of this, he also receives many ties every single year for Father's Day. Experts believe his sons are innumerable, outnumbering the sands on a beach or the stars in the sky, as are his ties.

"I have more ties than stars in the sky!" the exasperated patriarch proclaimed as all of his descendants over the centuries, both physical and spiritual, lined up to give him a tie. "Can't someone just give me a fanny pack or one of those cool calculator watches? Some cargo shorts? A nice, new barbecue grill?"

"Enough with the ties already! Oy vey!"

Unfortunately for his multitude of descendants, Father Abraham also has a bazillion jokes to tell.