People just can't take their eyes off those nifty high-altitude spy devices! They're obviously balloons and/or drones from China, but what if they're aliens? And what if — oh wait, it looks like Biden has just snuck a bunch of stuff by us while we were looking at the balloons.
Here's a list of sneaky things Biden snuck by us:
- Sent another 100 billion to Ukraine: Should tide them over until next month, at least.
- 600% increase in inflation: Yawn.
- Ordered our military to stand down while China invaded Taiwan: Finally, some leadership.
- Officially signed the country over to China: 让中国再次伟大！
- Sent another 100 billion to Ukraine: Oh no! Now they have inflation!
- Secured his re-election win for 2024 via mail-in ballots: Don't ask questions.
- Changed the national anthem to "All About That Bass" by Megan Trainor: Probably a better fit anyway.
- He took a week-long nap to recover from the State of the Union: This was the least controversial thing he's done.
- Nuked Ohio: Honest mistake.
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Should you get your kid the new iPhone 14? Of course.