It's Christmas time again! Parents are looking for the perfect gift for kids of all ages, which can be especially tough if your child is attending a prestigious, virulently antisemitic institution like Harvard!
The Babylon Bee is here to help by providing you with the following list of absolute must-have items to pack for your Harvard student's dorm room:
- Shovel: That tunnel network under campus isn't going to dig itself!
- Paragliding kit: It's the Harvard way to get to class.
- Body armor: Only if your student is Jewish.
- Hitler bobblehead: Just the thing to keep their spirits up while reading Bin Laden's "Letter To America".
- Pickleball paddle: This one isn't political, he just might want to play pickleball.
- Grenade Launcher: You can't fight infidels with binders, mom!
- Pocket Qur'an: It'll come in handy for required classes like "Jihad 101".
- Baby carrier: Just in case they come across any human shields on campus.
- Star of David: For affixing to anyone who sets off one of the campus "Jew Detectors".
Your Harvard student is about to have the best Christmas ever! Get to shopping!
NOT SATIRE: Christmas shopping is challenging! How do you balance finding quality gifts and supporting companies that align with your values? Well, say goodbye to searching high and low for the perfect anti-woke-agenda-pushing gift because, parents and grandparents, we've got the ONLY gift guide you need this season!
Peruse BRAVE's 2023 Gift Guide with high-quality products and a mission to bring pro-God, pro-America entertainment to families just like yours! Looking for a new Christmas tradition? Forget Elf on the Shelf and implement a Christmas activity that promotes a servant's heart: Mouse in the House!
Want to give the gift of presence and take your family time to the next level? Check out the Freedom Island Book Club where you can read a different book each month that teaches a new value! Learn about topics such as humility or honesty, and then end with fun games and discussion questions at the back of the book!
Don't wait! Time is running out. Order by December 10th to ensure your gift arrives in time for Christmas! Shop the BRAVE Books Gift Guide today and give a gift that lasts!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.