It's not easy being a dad. Exemplifying bravery, leadership, and wisdom while simultaneously consuming an entire pig's worth of bacon per day and explaining to your wife how every daily event relates to The Lord of the Rings is hard work. Maintaining a strong sense of style just isn't something everyone has time to do.
Let the fathers of the Babylon Bee get you fixed up with nine awesome fashion tips any dad can pull off:
- Get yourself a sweet holster for your cell phone: Ladies love a quick draw.
- Don't wear cargo shorts after Labor Day: Wear them EVERY day.
- Bucket hats are in: Style and sun protection all rolled into one.
- You can never, ever have too much flannel: Layer it on, then add more flannel.
- It's a bold look, but don't rule out just wearing full Mandalorian armor: This is the way.
- T-shirts are like fine wine: Try to only wear shirts aged for five years minimum.
- White socks provide excellent contrast for dark sandals: Fashion is all about contrast.
- On special occasions, dress up like Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, Chieftain of the Dúnedain, King of Gondor and Arnor, King of the West and Lord of the Westlands: Try it now, thank us later.
- If ever in doubt, just remember that fashion peaked your senior year of high school: If you deviate from that style, oh no! You've gone woke!
Follow those tips, and you'll never have to worry about whether you're in style ever again (you won't be).
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
