Civilians having encounters with law enforcement have been all over the news lately, leading some people to wonder what they can do to avoid aggressive treatment from police and federal agents.
To help calm public fears, The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of helpful tips to keep you safe from being attacked by law enforcement:
Don't do illegal things: A good start.
If other people are doing illegal things, don't join them in doing illegal things: Sage advice.
Don't try to stop the police from arresting people doing illegal things: It's amazing how this works.
Make sure you ask before you touch their gun: They seem to get really testy about that.
Keep your kidnappings to an absolute minimum: The less kidnapping you engage in, the less likely you are to get on the cops' bad side. The data supports this.
If there is a big riot with people throwing bricks at police, drive the other direction: Very key.
Move to California: It has its downsides, but you'll never have to worry about police again.
No matter how cool your weapon is, don't pull it out to show the police: Apparently, that's frowned upon.
If the police tell you to do something, just say, "Okay": It's astounding how this will keep you from getting tackled.
If you follow the list above, you're virtually guaranteed not to run afoul of the authorities. Have tips of your own? Let everyone know in the comments.
Coming soon to a Democrat-controlled city near you!
