WASHINGTON, D.C.—“No! Stop him! The capitalist is getting away!” shouted Bernie Sanders during Rambo: First Blood Part II when the titular character fled his Soviet captors. While an '80s-themed movie night seemed like a fun idea, it had turned awkward after the invitation of presidential candidate Sanders, who started cheering on the villains in all the movies.
“What’s wrong with these kids running around with guns fighting people who are just trying to bring them free healthcare?” Sanders said during Red Dawn. “The NRA must have gotten to them.”
Sanders seemed very confused by all the movies, as each had characters with “great economic views,” but instead of those views being embraced, as his have been by the nation’s youth, the people with those views were shot at and sometimes blown up with explosive arrows. “These are sick, sick movies,” said Sanders, as all the other guests just tried to enjoy the films.
Sanders had high hopes, though, for Rocky IV when it looked like Ivan Drago was winning the final fight. “Yes! Prove the superiority of the collectivist system!” But soon Rocky was turning the tables on Drago with a series of vicious punches. “Oh no. This isn’t good.”