It's been over a week since the first presidential debate and the White House is still in the process of coming up with just the right excuse to explain away Biden's disastrous debate performance.
Thanks to some tough undercover journalism, we at the Babylon Bee have managed to acquire a copy of the top eight excuses currently floating around the White House. Take a look!
He had already put in a tough 2-hour work day: He was exhausted!
His earpiece malfunctioned: He kept picking up radio chatter from passing truckers instead of answers from his team. Unfortunate!
The sun got in his eyes: It's hard debating with the sun in your eyes, okay?
No one told him there was a debate until a mere six months ago: Also, he only had nine days to prepare for it. Can anyone say "rigged?"
He had to debate a convicted felon: You'd be distracted and terrified too if there was a dangerous convicted felon a mere 10 feet away from you.
Climate change: That would explain everything.
Mercury was in retrograde, thus throwing off his aura: The Feng Shui of the CNN studio was completely wrong, too.
Mid-stage dementia: Wait a minute…this excuse was provided by the office of the Vice President — never mind.
Well, when you put in that light, maybe Biden's debate gaffes weren't as bad as they looked after all. Cut the man some slack — he's doing the best he can with what he has!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
