PHILADELPHIA — A local treasonous wretch has proclaimed his preference for drone shows over fireworks, according to several sources.
"This is good, but drone shows are better than fireworks," said the miserable communist worm while attending Independence Day festivities this week. "We need to embrace this exciting new technology."
Several God-fearing patriots at the scene easily dismantled the loathsome turncoat's argument with facts and logic. "How dare you!" said one. "Our founding fathers died for these fireworks!"
The dirty pinko was then pelted by solo cups filled with non-Bud Light beer.
"But drones can make cool shapes and they don't make loud noises that will trigger a veteran's PTSD!" retorted the beer-covered Judas. "And they don't pollute the atmosphere!" he cried before being thrown in a lake.
At publishing time, those in attendance at the fireworks show went home and continued shooting off fireworks in their backyards all night like real Americans.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
