Are you sick of your favorite products going WOKE? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because it's not over yet! Hundreds of brands continue to crank out woke products that are sure to ruin your life. Not good!
The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of new woke products coming your way soon.
- G.I. Joe - Diversity Training Edition: This G.I. Joe sits in a chair all day and consumes diversity training modules! A real American hero.
- Honey Bunches of Crickets: Now you can have breakfast AND have a perfect ESG score.
- State Farm Monkeypox Insurance: You can never be too safe.
- Dylan Mulvaney American Girl Doll: Now your daughter can play with a doll version of the prettiest lady in the world!
- Holy Bible - Inclusive ChatGPT Translation: Finally, a Bible that doesn't have all that offensive stuff about sin and God's wrath.
- Victoria's Secret Menswear: Sure to contain secrets you never knew Victoria had.
- Literally everything at your local grocery store: Who are we kidding? It's pretty much ALL woke at this point.
These new products are only the tip of the iceberg. Get out to a store right away and find out what else you need to boycott!
NOT SATIRE: Are you fed up with Woke Corporate America and all the virtue signaling when you're simply trying to shop? It's prominent all over the country - Progressive corporations pressuring their employees to conform to woke DEI policies; coffee companies strong-arming customers to support abortion; or family retailers forcing gender ideology on your children when all you want to do is buy new clothes. What are your purchases actually funding?
Thankfully, with the PublicSq. Marketplace, you don't have to fund these companies any longer with your hard-earned dollars. PublicSq. is an app and website where you can get connected to tens of thousands of businesses from all different industries that share your value for life, family, and freedom. The best part of all, this marketplace is FREE to join for consumers and business owners alike!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.