Watching your retirement account tumble as $10 trillion in market value evaporates can be a stressful experience. Here are seven facts to make you feel at ease as you watch the stock market plunge:
You now have less money to worry about losing: Less money, less problems.
Jim Cramer just said it can't get any worse: Phew!
You are learning to be content in all circumstances, just like the Apostle Paul: Good for you.
The baseball cards your wife tried to throw out are now your most valuable investment: Boy, does she feel silly.
There are lots of politicians angrily screaming about it on TV: History has taught us this is usually a good sign.
If you hold the chart upside-down, the numbers don't look so bad: It's all about perspective.
If the tariffs work, soon Chinese finger traps will be American finger traps: It's a small price to pay.
Breathe easy, folks. It's going to be okay.
California transplants Steve and Timpani try to be the perfect Texas hosts for Brittuni's visit, but Steve quickly realizes he needs a sensible vehicle now that he's about to become a dad.
