U.S. — The U.S. National Park Service issued a reminder to avoid approaching the bison inside national parks, but if you do, to please be sure that someone captures a hilarious video of it.
Park rangers asked that the videos be shot on an iPhone 16 or later with spatial audio and wind noise reduction to best record the sights and sounds of the ensuing hijinks.
"We want to remind our visitors that these are wild bison fully capable of launching grown men into the sky," said National Park Service spokesman Dean Varner. "You should never come near a bison, but if you do — please ask someone nearby to record you getting absolutely wrecked by that 2,000-pound monster. These videos should be posted immediately to social media, and be sure to tag the National Park Service so we can watch your carcass get chucked around like a sack of potatoes."
The Park Service urged bystanders to alert emergency responders to potential injuries resulting from bison encounters. Once the injured person has been stabilized, Park Rangers request that bystanders then get to work adding Benny Hill music to the background of the bison-goring video. "Please, do render aid first. But then get to work adding that soundtrack," said Park Ranger Sam Morris. "Aw man, that little saxophone line adds so much to a guy flying through space like a human catapult."
At publishing time, the National Park Service had added the caveat that if the person videoing the bison destroying you laughed at you — and if they have a funny laugh — to go with that instead of the Benny Hill music.
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