7 Easy Ways To Spot A Fed

When you're out and about at your usual Trump rally, it can be hard to tell the feds apart from the regular, down-to-earth QAnon people.

Here are seven easy ways to spot a fed:

1. Look for the telltale military cuts, FBI badges, and stains of blood from their secret Satanic child sacrifice ring: All clear signs this person may not be who they claim.

2. Says "Greetings fellow Trump supporters, would you like to insurrect something on this fine morning?": Something feels off here.

3. Keeps calling you "Mr. Anderson" for some reason: And they keep calling you the chosen one and trying to kill you. Weird!

4. Their MAGA hat is clearly just an FBI hat with duct tape over it: FBI agents are not known for their creative disguises.

5. Look for their forked lizard tongue and reptilian eyes: They will usually flick their tongues and hiss if you show them a LEGO set of the Capitol Building. 

6. Screeches in terror at the name of Donald Trump: Plus, touching the Art of the Deal will burn their hands.

7. Their Apple AirPods have a curly wire hanging down and look suspiciously like an FBI earpiece - They may claim they're just jamming along to Carly Rae Jepsen, but they're really waiting for the go-ahead to take you down.

There you have it! Be careful out there!